I had a really good friend back in college that I was quite close to for some time. We had some marvelous times together, and shared some painful moments with each others' support. However, one day he turned to me and said, "It's not healthy for us to be friends anymore. You're too unstable, and being with you is like a rollercoaster." I was just stunned. It came out of the blue and hurt terribly. I had my moments of depression, granted, but nothing really crazy or psychotic. I blamed myself for years for not being the kind of person who deserved his friendship. Well...
Fast forward twenty years. On a whim, I looked him up on Facebook. I did find him, and his online journal. He is on disability for his mental health disabilities, and has been for many years. He lives hand to mouth, often relying on the kindness of strangers. He's bitter and sarcastic and angry. He has gone from one relationship to another, most of them unhealthy.
Yes. And I am thriving, happy, stable and (of all things) a respected mental health therapist.
I know now that he was probably projecting his own instability onto me. Or heck, maybe he was protecting me from his own personal demons. I feel only kindness towards and sadness for him now. It hurt terribly way back when, but perhaps I dodged a big bullet with him.
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