I'm Not Kidding

I'm sure there are folks out there who go online and get ordained as a big joke.  You know, ha ha, call me Monsignor Bucky.  That kind of thing.

Well, for a number of years I had been curious about becoming a non-denominational officiant, and I was as serious as could be.   I loved the idea of working with families and couples to create meaningful ceremonies and rituals to mark passages in their lives.  I am Christian, but I am very appreciative of diversity in all ways, and liked the idea of honoring that by serving people in this way.

Our good friend Ron's wedding this week sealed it for me.  They brought in an officiant to marry them in a very simple ceremony at their home, and it was lovely in how it was personalized to them and their family they were blending.  The minister was very nice, but honestly, I thought I could have done it better.

So.

I did it.  I took the plunge.  And I truly felt called to do it.

I have very strong ideas of how I want to go about this.   I do NOT want to be called at the last minute to marry someone I've never met.  I want to have time to know the couple, to talk about what has led them to choose to marry each other or baptize their child or ask me to lead a funeral for their loved one.  I want to work with them to create a ceremony that will make a memory for a lifetime.   I'm also a licensed marital and family therapist, and have considered offering some premarital counseling sessions prior to marriages.  When I was a grad student, I interned at a Catholic church, offering premarital counseling, and really enjoyed it. 

I'm not jumping headfirst into this.  It took years of thought and prayer to make the decision to go forward.  It follows that I will think how I go forward from here just as carefully, insofar as how to make my services known, etc. 

So...what do you think?

Jiminy Cricket says F You!!!!

If I have to hear the term "Pinocchios" one more time, in reference to comments made by political campaigns (and ratings of the truthfulness of said comments):

I. WILL.  SCREEEEEAMMM!!!!

Fiscal Feast or Famine

I seem to have two extremes where money and spending are concerned.

I have an extremely responsible side.  Perhaps responsible to the point of miserliness.  Sometimes this can be referred to as penny-wise and pound foolish.  For example, I will do things such as not have enough clothing or not take care of something that really needs to be tended to for fear of spending money.  

The other side of this is the little things spendaholic.  I don't go on extravagant sprees for high-end items.  I agonize for a long time before purchasing expensive things.  Nope, this is more of the I'm in Target and I need 3 items mentality.  But while I'm here browsing, man, this would be awesome in my therapy room, and I'd really like a new lipstick, and oh boy, those boots are HOT!  And before you know it, I've spent $100 without even realizing it. 

And I'm great at rationalizing it.  'Cause I've got a new therapy office that rocks and I need some things; and lipstick is about my only makeup I can wear much of; and well, I'd been looking for some brown boots that fit for a LOOOONG time and these were so comfy and fashionable (they really were!). 

Having Target a block from my office is such a BAD thing!

A few sprees like that, and I'm not broke, but I'm taking money away from paying down debt quicker...or making improvements on my home that last a heckuva lot longer than that lipstick.

I need to strike a balance between deprivation and discipline.

Thinking out loud

I don't know how upset I should be about something.  Boy, does that sound weird.  Ha, I usually know exactly how pissed I simply am about things!

This is a little different.

Okay, my beloved and I knew from the beginning that we perched ourselves on very opposite sides of the political fence.  He's a staunch, lifelong Republican.  I'm......decidedly NOT.   I was a card-carrying member of NOW in college, and marched for peace, choice and whatever else there was to march for back then (good music and cold beer at the end).   We've generally managed to keep a truce state going, relying on a few political common grounds to tamp down the occasional flames.  (And we really love each other, so that helps even more.)

I'm not as politically active as I used to be.  My husband, however, is consumed by it.  He's the county chair for his party, watches Glenn Beck every day at 4pm, and so on and so forth.  He has got it in his head that because he is county chair and because I'm really not that politically active, I should not have any right to place signs for Democrat (or otherwise) candidates in our yard.  In fact, in one heated exchange, he threatened to tear up anything I put out there.  Hmmm.

Now, I told him from the beginning of our relationship that I would do nothing to publicly embarrass him, ever.  Does this qualify?  I mean, I think I had things like standing on top of a table at his overpriced chicken dinner and fancy speechifying events and shouting "Socialized Medicine!" in mind when I made that vow.   Is a sign all that bad, really?

Maybe it's the disrespect for my right as an individual to proclaim my views that's bugging me.  I don't know.  I mean, this is by no means a relationship dealbreaker.  But it does give one pause.  And the desire to shop for bumper stickers.