Welcome to my first "Thirteen" posting!
Thirteen Positive Random Things about This Week
1. I had my six month review at work, and "passed" with flying colors! Yeah me! Also got a merit increase, which is nice and appreciated.
2. Also got the okay to go to my first play therapy conference in the middle of September! Very excited to start in on my certification process.
3. First choir rehearsal of the 2012-13 season.
4. First choir potluck of the year...someone made a fabulous Dorito salad that this gluten-free girl could eat, and eat I did!
5. My BFF, my dog Lucy...stuck by my side like glue the whole time I've been sick and in bed.
6. My home has multiple TVs, rooms, etc., so watching the RNC has not been a matter of being a captive audience.
7. Lavender oil in a hot bath is relaxing aromatherapy for a sore body. I love you, Aura Cacia!
8. Cecilia makes delicious and healing chicken soup.
9. I stood up for myself when I was upset about something and not getting the support I needed and deserved.
10. I have an air-conditioned home, which was a blessing with 95 degree temps and me not feeling well.
11. Gluten-free vegan cupcakes rock my world! Thank you, Wheatsfield Cooperative!
12. I don't live in Louisiana or Mississippi.
13. After one day back at work, I'll have a 3-day weekend in which to recover even more.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Remember Me? I'm September (tapping on my shoulder)
September used to be kind of a cool month, in my book. My birthday, football, fall temperatures---great stuff. Four years ago, September became a nightmare, and I haven't really shaken it since then.
See, my father died four years ago, three days before my birthday. It was a sudden and shocking death. I mean, he'd had a heart attack four months prior, but had been doing well since then. In fact, I'd just seen him over Labor Day weekend, and for the most part all was fine. Had a great time out at the cabin near Plainfield with all of the family together.
Then he went missing while out fishing a few weeks later. He just didn't come home. Search parties went out. There were dogs out trying to find Dad. The next morning the helicopters were firing up and they finally found him, in the Cedar. We were all so numb and in shock that quite honestly I didn't cry for a month. We just took care of what we had to do, honored Dad as he deserved, and tried to go forward.
I bottled things for a long time, not wanting to upset anyone, and went through bad bouts of depression, which were aggravated by seasonal affective disorder. God, what an ugly trick to play: coinciding Dad's death with shorter days and less sunshine. Well played.
Every time I think that the sadness is finally gone, it taps me on the shoulder and reminds me that it's still very much there. Of all the damned things, I about lost it in a CPR class today. It was my first recertification since dad's death, and I didn't even put one thought into how it might affect me, much less that it would affect me at ALL.
I could not stop the tears from falling down my face, watching the video about heart attack symptoms, thinking of what pain Dad had to go through. It's bothering me NOW, writing this. I felt on the edge of bawling my head off, the whole loud sobbing thing, and thought about leaving the training and trying again another time.
Then I said (to myself), Buck UP. YOU are Tim Shea's daughter, and you will STAY and FACE this, no matter how much it hurts, because you are strong. And maybe, you'll save someone's life someday and spare them the pain.
So I did it. And I hope you will too. It takes so little to learn and get certified in CPR. Please consider it.
So "September" arrived a few days early this year. I'm not going to bottle it anymore. I'm going to weep and grieve. Maybe that's what September is for, for now. But I'm also going to try to find ways to take good care of myself, as well as ways to honor my father.
See, my father died four years ago, three days before my birthday. It was a sudden and shocking death. I mean, he'd had a heart attack four months prior, but had been doing well since then. In fact, I'd just seen him over Labor Day weekend, and for the most part all was fine. Had a great time out at the cabin near Plainfield with all of the family together.
Then he went missing while out fishing a few weeks later. He just didn't come home. Search parties went out. There were dogs out trying to find Dad. The next morning the helicopters were firing up and they finally found him, in the Cedar. We were all so numb and in shock that quite honestly I didn't cry for a month. We just took care of what we had to do, honored Dad as he deserved, and tried to go forward.
I bottled things for a long time, not wanting to upset anyone, and went through bad bouts of depression, which were aggravated by seasonal affective disorder. God, what an ugly trick to play: coinciding Dad's death with shorter days and less sunshine. Well played.
Every time I think that the sadness is finally gone, it taps me on the shoulder and reminds me that it's still very much there. Of all the damned things, I about lost it in a CPR class today. It was my first recertification since dad's death, and I didn't even put one thought into how it might affect me, much less that it would affect me at ALL.
I could not stop the tears from falling down my face, watching the video about heart attack symptoms, thinking of what pain Dad had to go through. It's bothering me NOW, writing this. I felt on the edge of bawling my head off, the whole loud sobbing thing, and thought about leaving the training and trying again another time.
Then I said (to myself), Buck UP. YOU are Tim Shea's daughter, and you will STAY and FACE this, no matter how much it hurts, because you are strong. And maybe, you'll save someone's life someday and spare them the pain.
So I did it. And I hope you will too. It takes so little to learn and get certified in CPR. Please consider it.
So "September" arrived a few days early this year. I'm not going to bottle it anymore. I'm going to weep and grieve. Maybe that's what September is for, for now. But I'm also going to try to find ways to take good care of myself, as well as ways to honor my father.
Saturday, August 4, 2012
A Room of One's Own
I'm finally creating the haven I've always wanted, in my own home this time. The sunroom is officially mine, and I'm making a craft-yoga-reading-sewing-dreaming space all my own!
It's the smallest room in the house, but it's perfect. Surrounded by windows on three sides, it's sunny and breezy. I'm painting it a creamy butter color, with a sky blue ceiling. Not sure about curtains...certainly nothing that will block all of that gorgeous light and air. Bamboo shades, or maybe some very sheer, floaty curtains...haven't decided. The room overlooks what will be the patio and gardens in the backyard.
I've already moved all of my artsy creative books in there, plus my craft table and file. I have a TV in there, but only for yoga DVDs and to tune in music. A favorite white chair I've had since college days is in there too. I scoured Goodwill the other day and found the perfect pillows to go with it, plus a meditation cushion, on the cheap (my favorite way!). I'm going to put a plant in there too...I want something living and breathing in there besides me...and I found a pot that just summed up the kind of color I'm looking for in there.
This room will have all of my favorite colors surrounding me....greens and watery blues, lavender, buttercream...and all of my favorite soft textures. This room is ME!!!
It's the smallest room in the house, but it's perfect. Surrounded by windows on three sides, it's sunny and breezy. I'm painting it a creamy butter color, with a sky blue ceiling. Not sure about curtains...certainly nothing that will block all of that gorgeous light and air. Bamboo shades, or maybe some very sheer, floaty curtains...haven't decided. The room overlooks what will be the patio and gardens in the backyard.
I've already moved all of my artsy creative books in there, plus my craft table and file. I have a TV in there, but only for yoga DVDs and to tune in music. A favorite white chair I've had since college days is in there too. I scoured Goodwill the other day and found the perfect pillows to go with it, plus a meditation cushion, on the cheap (my favorite way!). I'm going to put a plant in there too...I want something living and breathing in there besides me...and I found a pot that just summed up the kind of color I'm looking for in there.
This room will have all of my favorite colors surrounding me....greens and watery blues, lavender, buttercream...and all of my favorite soft textures. This room is ME!!!
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