You ALWAYS have a choice

Last night I had quite the interesting encounter with a neighbor I had never met before.  This little meeting was not friendly or welcome in the least, but it did spark some deep thoughts about how we have a choice about our reactions and even our feelings, to some extent.

G and I were walking our dog, Lucy, and were on the homestretch.  About a block away from our house, I noted the glow of a cigarette and the shape of a large man in the darkness of the next yard we would pass.  I'm not sure why, but I sensed that something was going to happen.  (Thank you, Gavin de Becker).

Lucy dared to walk slightly off the sidewalk into the edge of his yard, and the man let loose with a torrent of profanity and threats.  I'm not that easily shocked, but this even crossed my line.  He seemed to believe that Lucy had relieved herself on his lawn.  First of all, she did not.  Secondly, we carry baggies and USE them.  This man would not stop ranting, and in fact by the time I decided reason was not going to be fruitful he told me that "the wrath of God was to fall upon (me)".

We came home, and in turns I was angry, upset, and fearful.  I did contact the police, because I felt threatened by the man, and I want to feel safe in our neighborhood.  I want EVERYONE to feel safe in this neighborhood.  He needed to know that this behavior was not okay.

Afterwards, though, I decided to practice some deep breathing and take a step  back.  And think this through.  First of all, there are a LOT of people in my town that do not pick up after their pets, and my own lawn has been a "bombing ground", if you catch my drift.  I get that someone would feel angry about that.  I also do not know this man, what kind of day he had...heck, what kind of life he's had.  And, even if he was choosing to act in this way, I had the power to choose my own reaction.  What was a healthy way for me to react?

Now, I'm not a Buddhist, and I don't meditate nearly as often as I should, but I have done some basic reading and have a little knowledge of some practices.  One I've read of  is "tonglen", which as I understand it is related to the concept of lovingkindness.  An integral practice is breathing in angry thoughts, and breathing out love and kindness back into the world.  What good was it going to do, in my particular situation, to escalate the ugliness with my neighbor?  Now, I'm not going to sit here and tell you that some of my initial thoughts weren't ugly and mean and spiteful.  Plopping a baggie of dogshit and lighting it on his porch did cross my mind, briefly.  So did writing an ugly letter to the editor of our local birdcage liner weekly.  But what would I have accomplished with those things?  I only would have added to the hatred in the world.  I chose to let it pass and breathe some love back out into the world.

Peace, y'all....tell me what you think.
K